I know, I haven’t written in a while and I would like to excuse myself with… life.
Gosh, have those month been hectic. We shot all five episodes of my project (to be aired in August) and I spent a lot of time away from home. Not cool, although one trip even got me to the lovely Spanish island Majorca. Still, working 18 hours a day is way too much for me and I was on the verge of a breakdown last week, when I took 8 days off from work. Today is my last day off and I don’t like the idea of going back to the office tomorrow.
H has had a rough couple of weeks with anxiety and is just about to feel better. After more than four weeks off, he went back to work yeterday. He is doing okay. But seeing him that weak always makes me feel bad. I would love to be able to help him more, but seems as if that is not possible. He is doing better now and I really hope it will stay that way at least for a while.
Well, on the other hand, I am fat. Yeah, I know, I have always been, but I through all this hectic month, I managed to put on 16kg. Yeah, good job on that. How I did it? Eat lots of junk, lots of chocolate, no sports and basically eating nonstop. Eating comforts me big time and so I ate. A. LOT. I don’t like myself this way but still I don’t seem to be able to change my behaviour at all.
Poor Ilka had to take in a lot of my whining, her being the strong one with shedding those pounds like it was nothing. I am proud of you honey and whenever I think about how horrible I look, seeing you in so much better shape cheers me up. Maybe I can follow your path soon and then we’l hit town to do some serious shopping.
Until then I will feel sorry for myself and hope, that I will be able to feel better and start losing weight again. Right now, I will go back into the house and hope, no one will see me looking this shitty…
Well, but not everything is bad. We bought a new car just recemtyl and I love i. Its a 2006 VW Polo and its so much nicer than my old car was. Much more comfortable and bigger, too. We plan to make it able to run on LPG to make driving to work more affordable. Don’t get me started on those gas prices…
And the Eurocup is on. People, I love it and I REALLY am looking forward to that game against Turkey tomorrow. H and I decided to watch it with other people because we were scared to get into a fight over the match. At the end of the day, H is Turkish and I am German… so lets just hope we will beat them and I don’t have to listen to this “my country is better than your country soccerwise”…
So, have a good semifinal everyone!
6 Comments
24, June 2008 at 5:50 pm
Hey, good to see you post again. I am sorry you had rough couple of weeks… the weight gain obviously shows that. I am glad you were able to take some time off at least…. and I am sure you will get into the habit of eating right and exercising again.
So excited for you about your new car [I love Polos!] and I hope you’ll enjoy the semifinal tomorrw… with your b’friend being Turkish, that might be interesting
… but hey, remember, it’s JUST A GAME!
24, June 2008 at 6:09 pm
honey, i feel you. you know i do. i hope you will get your spirit back again because you did so GREAT before. i know you can do it again! you go girl! and i hope it’ll get a lot less stressful at work for you now and that H will be feeling better for a loooong time. *bearhug*
24, June 2008 at 8:10 pm
so glad to hear from you again! i missed you!!! glad to hear that H is doing better, are all the shirts fitting him by the way? mommy still has your camera bag, huh? i think she does.haha.
I am sorry about the pounds that you put on, but hey you had a hard time and its not surprising that you put on some extra weight. dont worry though, WW does work and one day when you are ready you return and i know you can do it. hope it will be less stressful now, hope you are enjoying the new car!! so awesome! i am excited for the game tomorrow!!!! hugs to H as well!!! love ya
24, June 2008 at 8:35 pm
first of all i totally understand you why you are so mad at yourself by putting on all of this weight. but since u told me 2 month ago. looking back and bitching about it doesn’t make the change. you had some incredible rough times the past 2 month. and no wonder you were comforting you with food. next to constantly working. you already proved to yourself that you were able to loose 20kg in quite a short time. and i know you can do it again. maybe at the moment your head is not ready. but i am sure as long as life is cutting back on drama and stress you will be in the right mood to catch the right train again. i know you can do it and i will do everything to support you and you know that. through mike i learned how to change my mindset. and i think that is really important especially as we all don’t have to loose just 5pounds.
i am so happy h feels better and you know how happy i was about your polo. thank god everything turned out for the better.
i can only imagine what you have to go through the game;-) mike was playing jokes throughout every german game just to tease me. i just hope it will be a good game and of course germany could make it and there won’t be drama afterwards.
i love you sweetie
25, June 2008 at 1:38 am
Oh man, that weight thing sucks. I am sorry to hear that.
Hope you two don’t get into a fight when Germany is winning
29, June 2008 at 8:39 am
have you tried atkins? it’s so freaking easy, if you haven’t tried it, give it a chance. it works. fast. and if you think it’s unhealthy… i’m sure it’s 10 times healthier than what you’re doing right now that causes the weight gain.
i’m sorry you’ve had it rough and i hope things calm down a little bit for you.